Berg-säkert

Bara för att verkligen understryka vilken dålig dag jag haft så kommer här en massa tolkningar av "Shit".. 

Taoism: "if you understand shit, it isn't shit"
Hinduism: "This shit has happened before" 
Confucionism: "Confucius says: 'Shit happens' " 
Buddhism: "shit will happen to you again" 
Zen: "What is the sound of shit happening?" 
Islam: "If shit happens, it is the will of Allah"
Sikhism: "leave our shit alone"
Jehova's Witness: "knock knock, shit happens"
Atheism: "I don't believe this shit"
Agnosticism:  "can you prove that shit happens?" 
Protestantism: "shit happens, amen to that" 
Catholicism: "If shit happens, you deserve it" 
Judaism: "Why does shit always happen to us?"
Orthodox Judaism: "So shit happens already"
Televangelism: "send money or shit will happen to you"
Rastafarianism:  "let's smoke this shit"
Hare Krishna: "shit happnes rama rama"
Nation Of Islam: "don't take no shit"
New Age:  "visualise shit happening"
Shintoism:  "you inherit the shit of your ancestors"
Hedonism:  "I love it when shit happens"
Satanism:  "sneppah tihs"
Capitalism: "this is MY shit"
Feminism:  "men are shit"
Existentialism:  "what is shit, anyway?"
Scientology:  "if shit happens, see Dianetics p.137"
Mormonism:  "excrement happens" (don't say shit)
Baptism:  "we'll wash the shit right off you"
Mysticism:  "this is really weird shit"
Voodoo:  "shit doesn't just happen - we make it happen"
Wicca:  "you can make shit happen but shit will happen to you three times"
Disneyism:  "bad shit doesn't happen here"
Communism:  "lets share the shit"
Marxism:  "you have nothing to lose by your shit"
Conspiracy Theorism:  "THEY shit on us!"
Psycho-Analysis:  "tell me about your shit"
Darwinism:  "survival of the shittiest"
Amish:  "modern shit is useless"
Suicidal:  "Ive had enough of this shit"
Optimism:  "shit won't happen to me"
Trekism:  "to boldly shit where no-one has shit before"
Shakespearean:  "to shit or not to shit, that is the question"
Descartes:  "I shit therefore I am"
Freud:  "this is a phallic symbol"
Lawyers:  "for enough money, I can get you out of shit"
Acupuncturist:  "hold still or this will hurt like shit"
Dog:  "I just shit in your shoes"
Cat:  "dogs are shit"
Mouse:  "oh shit! a cat!"
Politically Correct:  "internally processed, nutritionally-drained biological output happens"
Einstein:  "shit is relative"
Family Gathering:  "relatives are shit"
Materialism:  "whoever dies witht he most shit, wins"
Vegetarianism:  "if it happens to shit, don't eat it"
Fatalism:  "oh shit, it's going to happen"
Environmentalism:  "shit is biodegradable"
Americanism:  "who gives a shit?"
Statistician:  "shit is 84.7% likey to happen"
Hip-Hop:  "motherfuck this shiznit, beeatch!"
Tantrism:  "fuck this shit"
Cynicism:  "we are all full of shit"
Surrealism:  "fish happens"

\ M

Upplagd av Matte kl. 22:18